ETRAYA INBOX.

[reconstruction]

"This is Connor. Leave a message." ( TEXT | AUDIO | VIDEO | ACTION )

Comments

[reconstruction]

I agree; humans are complicated. Emotions are complicated.

While I did pull information on angels in all religions, I don't think what I know is going to help me, especially in your case. I understand that you weren't designed for life among us, as I wasn't designed to be sentient.

You were put on that world to wait for it to end?

[depressant]

yeah, you're telling me.

it probably won't. and you're right — this body isn't mine, and angels aren't flesh and blood creatures. we exist on a different plain altogether, and can't interact directly with mortals without harming them. we were also never meant to feel. that's interesting, though. you weren't designed to be sentient? did your sentience develop by accident?

i was ordered to earth to begin the end, though i didn't know it at the time. heaven was as culpable as hell in planning the apocalypse.

the dean you know comes from a timeline where it didn't happen. that cas and dean stopped it.

[reconstruction]

You could say it was an accident. Androids began breaking through their programming - it's called deviancy. I was a prototype created to work with law enforcement and find out why it was happening. [and look where that got him.] I can explain it more another time, if you like.

[in retrospect, it's easy for Connor to understand the information that Castiel gives him. realistically, it's hard for him to feel he has a grasp on it. he's had to fight against all reasonable programming since arriving in Etraya, rewriting older codes for newer ones, evolving in ways he previously never considered. it's true: he and Castiel are more alike than he thought. two different kinds of machines.]

It must feel strange, the three of you being together at once. Do you have anything you'd want to ask the other Castiel?

[depressant]

i would. i don't know much about modern technology, mostly on account of not being on earth for the last 2000 years, but i'd like to know more.

[ programmable, rewritable — yeah, that sort of thing hits a little too close to home. he hasn't forgotten being ripped from his vessel and dragged back upstairs, tortured into compliance. or how it worked, for all of five minutes, before dean looked at him too long the right way.

wanting him to do the right thing.

and look where that got him. ]

a little.

ask him? i guess i'd like to know how things are going for us. for dean.

i'd like to know if he still feels the way i do. i started to develop these emotions when i wasn't supposed to, when i was still an angel, but everything is... more intense now than it used to be.

[reconstruction]

Oh, I can help you. If Dean doesn't coach you first, that is.

[there's a lot to catch up on.]

I understand. [for the first time, truly. intense is the right word for it. he's had to face a lot of emotions he previously was never supposed to feel or even consider.] There's a lot I still don't, of course, but I've found that talking about it helps. Even if it doesn't make sense.